This week I wanted to talk about a specific subject all of us ladies have to deal with sometimes: JEALOUSY.
Just because you are in a committed relationship, does not mean there won’t be any occasional bumps. In fact, a successful relationship is all about how you and your partner handle tough situations.
Speaking of tough situations, us, ladies, are all too familiar with the proverbial green eyed monster, jealousy, and how it can mess with an otherwise amazing situation. Jealousy in marriages, however, is different from the jealousy you feel when you see someone else wearing the same shoes as yours but they’re carrying them even better!
Oh, the horror.
Let’s not deviate from the topic at hand; when it comes to marriages, perhaps there is nothing as threatening as jealousy. Whether it is you or your husband harboring this highly toxic emotion, things can get really ugly if damage control isn’t done at the right moment.
The thing with jealousy in marriages is that it mostly starts with small things. For example, your husband may be spending more time at work rather than with you which you find upsetting. Of course, we admire your husband’s ambition, but where is the work-life balance? You question him, he gives you excuses.
The more you think about the situation, the more you can’t seem to ignore the fact that there might be something more to the situation. Is there another factor than work, that may be motivating your husband to stay at work a while longer? Is your husband even at work, to begin with?
You start keeping tabs on him. He says he’s got a meeting, but what’s this? He was just active on Facebook a minute ago? He has got to be kidding you.
You get the picture. The situations may be different from couple to couple, varying in their complexity too, but it is safe to assume that almost all of us have huffed and puffed in pure jealousy over something our spouse has done or is doing.
Here’s what to do about it:
I can’t stress this one enough. Open communication should be your go-to strategy for every problem in your marital relationship. Pick the right time and use the right words to convey to your partner about the effects their words and actions are having on you.
2: Personal Insecurity:
Is your husband really doing something awful or are you projecting your own weaknesses on to him? Don’t ever make someone pay for something they’ve not done. Educate yourself on how to differentiate between a genuine concern and a personal shortcoming.
If it is something personal that’s upsetting you, then work on sorting it out. Work out, hang out with your friends, get a creative hobby, even seek counseling if you wish to — these are all just some of the things you can do to improve your position.
3: Letting Go of Control:
Every strong couple has some ground rules they live by and by all means, you should have those too in your marriage. However, understand that you or your partner can’t control everything. You may be jealous of his hot colleague, but asking the husband to switch departments because of her is going a little too far. Asking him to keep her at a friendly distance is a much more sensible approach.
A little bit of jealousy is almost inevitable in every relationship. You need to address it the right way and put it back into its box. The 3 ways mentioned above will help you in dealing with jealousy immensely.